I told my husband that I was thinking about cutting my hair and his response was – okay. I told him I wanted a real opinion – he said “I like both looks on you.” I said choose and know that it will not upset me, I just want your thoughts.
“Okay, I love it when your hair is short.” I asked him why and he said “Your personality is edgier, more rock n’ roll, when you hair is short and that’s how it was when I met you and the first 9 years of our marriage. I like that about you.”
Wow! He was absolutely right, though, and I realized that about a month ago. Every time I looked in the mirror I really didn’t see myself or feel like myself. I knew I had tucked a facet of my personality away.
My friend and I went into New York City to keep appointments with our stylist, my son-in-law, Paul Cucinello at Chris Chase Salon in Chelsea.
Told Paul how I was feeling and how much I hated that my hair just hung there like everyone else’s. I hated that beach waves, messy buns, top knots and exaggerated pony tails were being worn by everyone. Long hair is safe – almost everyone thinks it’s sexy and you don’t have to think about it, just tie it back. I told him what my husband had said and that I felt like it was true because I had many different short haircuts over the years, but they never looked like someone else’s hair and they all had en edge that people, even strangers, commented on. NO ONE ever commented on my long hair.
Now I didn’t change the way I dressed or my makeup as my hair got longer, so it wasn’t that. I have black hair, my favorite things to wear are always in black. I love black boots, black bags and 4” wedges. I like big hoops and chunky bracelets. I wear a smokey eye, red lipstick and red nails. I have amazing tattoos – perhaps you have the picture. Still wasn’t feeling it.
Paul’s take was that I did the long hair thing and it was time to go because it was no longer a fun accessory. I agreed, but was very scared. I think every person who has ever grown a short haircut out knows that feeling you get in your stomach when a stylist comes near your head with a scissors. I trust him so I told him to do what he wanted………
He cut off nine inches of hair and even with wet hair, I could see the difference and feel the difference. When it was styled, it was amazing. One of the other stylists who has watched all my different styles over the years, including the long hair, commented how I was back…and used the edgy word again.
I now have a long bob, just grazes my shoulders. There is lots of movement and I can wear it smooth, flipped on the ends, curly (natural) and I can still wear it up in any way I choose. The best thing is that it now has personality and style. One thing made a huge difference in how I was feeling about myself.
The point in telling my little story is that it got my friend and I talking on our way home about how I had been feeling frumpy – it didn’t make any difference how the makeup looked or the clothes or anything else – I felt frumpy and I guess I was acting frumpy. She said she had felt that way for a while and this Summer something just fell into place and she started to dress differently. She felt really good about her new look and she loved that her hubby was noticing it.
So, our conversation was about why women, no matter what age or size, let themselves get into a rut and stay there. They don’t like the way they look – clothes, makeup, hair, whatever it is – but so many women do nothing about it. Take a shower, brush you teeth, get dressed and put your hair in a pony tail. Done. The reason for the no nonsense look is no time – kids, work, home, too pudgy, too thin, etc, but doing something for yourself takes only a couple of minutes and it doesn’t cost a fortune.
Get rid of all the clothes with stains and holes and replace them. Kohl’s, TJ Maxx, Target, these are all great places with great deals. We all have makeup under the bathroom sink, put it on. It only takes five minutes and it can be done while having a cup of coffee. Whether you have short or long hair, it needs to be trimmed routinely to keep the style fresh. Invest in hot rollers and roll your hair before you put on your makeup. Okay, invest ten minutes for hair and makeup – get up ten minutes earlier.
This is a vain conversation – absolutely – but, really, who isn’t a little vain? But it is not just about vanity. We as women need to care for ourselves and take time for ourselves. When you feel good mentally it effects your whole day and those around you. Take care of yourself, show yourself a little love, put on some lip gloss and a new tee shirt (jeans, shoes, whatever). You will feel awesome because you were ballsy enough to break out. I promise you it will put a little dance in your step and a smile on your face and that smile can change someone’s life.
Hey, everything we do has an impact…….
Peace
Moonstruck in Jersey's Blog 